For some random reason, i stopped blogging. But now, i am here again, facing a computer, wastefully thinking if i will start typing or not. I had to stop because i grew tired of the fact that the reason i started it was because of someone, not because i intended it for my self-sentiment.
AND NOW, I DO THIS AGAIN.
I am blogging again because of the same someone, and i don’t give a damn anymore if i blog because of such reason. I wouldn’t care either if that someone reads this. He knows, but will never understand what i feel. Maybe, just maybe, through this, he will.
SO HOW DO I START THIS THEN?
I really don’t know. Since I stopped, I lost it. I lost everything. I lost the motivation and the inspiration that any living person has. I thought that blogging has much affected me, that even my reality became unreal. I told myself that i had to stop. I did, but i stopped too much. I grew tired of the blogging world, and then i grew tired of my blogging world. I stopped writing to the point that i would always be blank whenever we were asked to write essays at school ( not to boast or anything, my English teachers think i am good and they would always commend my work). There was actually a time when my teacher confronted me, saying that I am taking everything for granted. I am taking for granted the fact that I am good at writing, by not using it at all, by using it to be able to pass a requirement but have no passion or love or anything for it. With high hopes, maybe now I will redeem myself. With burning passion and feeling, maybe i will be able to do it again.
TO YOU, SOMEONE:
I want you out of my life so bad because i feel that there is no point(err, there was never a point) in having such feelings for you. Till this day, I keep asking myself, how can it be without you if it is about you? I want you but i have to let go. You have your dreams, i have my feelings. I respect that, and that is why i am doing this. I just need your help, help me move on, help me forget about you. You are my last and only hope. Thank you for everything you have done for me. You have been a very good friend. I am just not sure if I even deserve to be your friend. I have been selfish and insensitve. I am sorry. I really am.
Sometimes – no matter how long, or how much you love someone, they will never love you back and somehow you have to learn to be okay with that.
